Things I Should Be Doing Instead of Updating My Status on Facebook

Momservation: If time is a thief then Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are its accomplices.

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TastyIf I put as much thought into what we should have for dinner as I did my last Instagram post we would be having more than Sloppy Joe’s for dinner tonight. (Dang! Should’ve bought tater-tots to go with it. But after waffling between Lo-Fi and Juno for at least 10 minutes I did finally decide Ludwig was the perfect filter for my photo!)

I’m not proud of this admission, but let’s face it—by the amount of updates on my Facebook news feed, I’m in good company when it comes to wasting time on social media.

Red light? Check Facebook. Standing in line? Check Instagram. Waiting for your email account to log in? Check Twitter. Should be doing something you don’t want to do? Check SnapChat.

And therein lies my biggest problem (and most likely yours): Procrastination has a new BFF—Social Media, and that bitch can waste some time. I mean, really, why would I want to Spray-N-Wash the skid marks out of a dozen chonies when I could see if someone has posted an adorable video of a kitten sneezing instead? And who wants to write a 650 word article before deadline when you could be watching another so-easy-and-delicious-I’d-be-a-fool-not-to-make-it Tasty video instead? (Apparently, not me. T-minus one hour now until deadline…)

So if you’re like me (and by your latest FB post of what you had for lunch I’m going to go out on a limb and say you are) someone needs to take our phones away from us, close all our FB, Instagram, Twitter, and SnapChat Apps, and slap a social media Nicotine Patch on us before our houses continue to close in around us in heaps of countertop piles with closets threatening to burst forth and swallow our families whole. Oh, and we should probably pick up the kids from school too (which got out 5 minutes ago)…

Things I Should Be Doing Instead of Updating My Status on Facebook 

  • Buying groceries so my kids don’t have to pick fuzzy green spots off their cheese and bread before making their lunches.
  • Starting laundry before everyone in the house has to go commando.
  • Sweeping the kitchen floor because my floor is starting to look more stocked than my fridge with food.
  • Mopping the floors before it’s mistaken for a Twister mat.
  • Paying the bills that still haven’t disappeared after pretending I didn’t see them.
  • Cleaning the bathrooms because shutting the door forever just isn’t an option.
  • Vacuuming the house before the dust bunnies and mites join forces and take over.
  • Figuring out what’s for dinner so we don’t have to have left over left-overs.
  • Putting away everything left on the counters because everyone’s pockets, backpacks, bedrooms, closets, and drawers may actually be totally empty now.
  • Empty the dishwasher so I can load the dishes in the sink because we ran out of paper plates and plastic forks.
  • Pick up toys, shoes, clothes, blankets and pillows I’m tired of tripping over while waiting for a child to actually do what they were supposed to do.
  • Be present.

Of course, I could keep going but I’m only overwhelming and disgusting myself more and I probably should see how many Likes my last post got…


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