Target Practice, Anyone?

Momservation: Some days the only thing that gets me out of bed is believing Steven Spielberg is going to eventually want to buy the movie rights to this comedy of errors.

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So, I’ve got a thousand books in my garage. I like to look at this obstruction to my vehicle fitting in a covered space as tangible optimism and not a miscalculation on product demand. My kids like to look at it as a place to prop their bikes and place their helmets.

These books need a loving home...


This convenient bike rack is the back stock of my parenting humor gift book, MOMSERVATIONS – THE FINE PRINT OF PARENTING released in 2010. Despite landing on Good Day Sacramento, the pages of Sacramento Magazine, and Success Magazine, and a fantastic Casey’s Hallmark roll-out book signing, publication delays caused me to miss the bigger marketing window of Mother’s Day and I have a “few” book still around. I’d love to get them out of my garage, or better yet, on Oprah’s list of Favorite Things.

In a wonderful stroke of luck (read: months spent on a convincing marketing proposal with documentation of strategic marketing and promotion) Barnes & Noble book store has decided to help me!

Yes, they’ve bought 2 books to carry online!

That’s not a typo – two. T-W-O. A pair. A twin set. Two whole books out of the thousand in my garage.

It’s not that the brilliant people at BN don’t believe in the wonderful concept of this beautiful 80-pg. photographic gift book perfect for new moms, veteran moms, grandmas, girlfriends, or any gender with a sense of humor.

MOMSERVATIONS makes a great coffe table book!


It’s just that according to Diane in the Small Press Department at Barnes & Noble, Inc., “…we will begin monitoring sales of your book, and reorder copies into our distribution network commensurate with demand.”

Loyal readers, Twitter followers, Facebook friends, friend friends, family, total strangers who stumbled here because I once mentioned Kid Rock and now I get a dozen hits a day for searches of Kid Rock, lend me your support!

Let’s show Barnes & Noble that there is way more demand for MOMSERVATIONS than just two books. Let’s show them that Mother’s Day is coming up and they better be prepared and have their servers ready! Let’s show them that we can be the Egypt of the blogsphere and instead of stepping down – they need to step up their purchase order!

MOMSERVATIONS makes great bathroom reading!


And what a deal! MOMSERVATIONS is already on sale for 33% off! It’s only $8.63! And once my grandma buys those two books and you get the little message that says a new book is not available at his time – click their “Like” on Facebook  or Add to List to show them you were there and you wanted that book, dang it!

With Mother’s Day coming up, how great would it feel to already have a great gift for mom out of the way in February?!

But, if you just don’t have someone you think needs a MOMSERVATIONS book (Gasp! I’m sorry, I just can’t go there with you…), here are some other great uses for the book:

MOMSERVATIONS as a coaster!


MOMSERVATIONS will help balance that wobbly table!


MOMSERVATIONS makes a great plant dish!


MOMSERVATIONS as a cutting board!


MOMSERVATIONS as a dog chew toy!


MOMSERVATIONS as target practice!


MOMSERVATIONS makes a great pot lid!


MOMSERVATIONS makes a great loose gate wedge!


Use MOMSERVATIONS as a window stop to keep out burglars!


MOMSERVATIONS makes a convenient kickstand!


But wait, there's more! Use MOMSERVATIONS as a filing system!


MOMSERVATIONS as a quick BBQ starter!


MOMSERVATIONS is the perfect hamster home!

Heck, at the very least we should all buy a book to send to Amy Chua, the author of “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” to remind her to lighten up and enjoy the journey.

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