Sunscreen and Other Torture Devices

Here’s a TBT on Wednesday in honor of the countdown to summer vacation…

Momservation: Sunscreen application is a kid’s kryptonite.

☺        ☺        ☺

There’s a saying – what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. This doesn’t apply to children.

If you go by the moaning, whining, crying and obvious suffering of a child who has to stand still for two minutes of sunscreen application you would think they were being tortured to death.

So when they survive this lather session to go frolic as they please, being saved from the much worse fate of a three-alarm sunburn, you’d think they would face the subsequent adversity of sunscreen application with new resolve and courage.

No such luck.

My kids are ten and eleven and they still hide from a sunscreen bottle like I just pulled out a bushel of broccoli.

It’s not just sunscreen though. If you step into my torture chamber you’ll find all methods of bringing unbearable suffering to my children:

  • Making them dress up and smile for a Christmas card photo

    Logan, 2, howling in distress over Mom’s Christmas card photo torture

  • Making them finish everything on their plate that is green
  • Having to flush the toilet regularly
  • Wiping or blowing a nose
  • Putting away their washed, folded clothes and shut their drawers
  • Having to set or clear the table
  • Having to sweep or vacuum a floor
  • Brushing hair or teeth
  • Making them get out of a swimming pool
  • Cleaning their room or their own mess they made
  • Taking a shower
  • Taking a children’s chewable vitamin
  • Having to drive somewhere without watching a movie
  • Wearing a sweatshirt or jacket
  • Not being in control of the TV remote
  • Running errands

And the most horrible, awful thing besides sunscreen to my children?


Certain death every night.


    • kellimwheeler says:

      Ha! You kill me Chase. But, yes, sorry – you should of considered this before you had four kids… 😉

  1. Elizabeth says:

    My son’s pretty good about the sunscreen — unless he sweats and it runs into his eyes.

    For him, torture is the shower. He used to turn the shower on and stand outside the tub and do… I don’t know what for 10 minutes, but it didn’t involve getting in. Then, he’d go to the sink and get his hair kind of wet. He fooled me a few times, but over time I noticed he wasn’t getting any cleaner. So, I told him to shower correctly or I’d go in and watch him. That fixed it.

    • kellimwheeler says:

      The heavy build up of grease and grime always give it away. I actually had a nephew who stayed with us for two weeks do this. But he wasn’t quite so savvy – the top of his head was still dry and he didn’t pass the auntie sniff test.

      My daughter also avoids soap like it’s acid. She’s even soaped her hair with bar soap because she was too lazy to shampoo (seems like more work to me)- the chunks of soap clinging to her hair like lice on steroids gave her away.

      Thanks for sharing Liz!

  2. 5kidswdisabilities says:

    That list is so true!!! I was so desperate to get my kids to dress up for a Christmas photo that I took it at the funeral of a close relative who died the end of November. They all looked very nice. Now if we can all just forget the occasion…

    • kellimwheeler says:

      Okay, that is just classic! I’ve heard of Christmas pics taken at weddings when everyone’s all dolled up – you’ve broken new ground! And I love how you justified “they all looked very nice.” Yeah, but did someone blink or have a finger in their nose? 😉

Leave a Reply