Squarely in the Mediocre Column

Momservation: “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ~Dalai Lama

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And that's my kid doing a gainer off a 40 ft cliff.

And that’s my kid doing a gainer off a 40 ft cliff.

There are some things my nearly 17 year-old son will go above and beyond the call of duty for:

  • Any sport related activity
  • Any outdoor related activity
  • Scaling trees and cliffs to jump into a body of water
  • Whatever is necessary to get a Polar Pop from Circle K

I was hoping some academic pursuits would make it on his short list, but he is pretty content doing what is asked of him and not an ounce more in this area.

Or as my 15 year-old daughter puts it: “If it doesn’t involve a ball or a body of water Logan is perfectly content being squarely in the mediocre column.”

Explains his definition of a clean room.

In contrast, my sophomore daughter, Whitney, who holds much higher standards across the board for herself, was recently beating herself up for scoring 5 out of 6 on her first Pre-Calculus test.

“That’s awesome!” I said as an Algebra II flunkee (until my track coach got my teacher to change it to a D- so I could still compete). “You’re probably setting the curve with those results!”

“That’s only 83%!” she said self-flagellating. “That’s squarely in the mediocre column!”

Apparently, a fate worse than death to this child.

So it comes to pass that Logan has an English project due today that he decided to work on in the fading twilight of Labor Day weekend. He asks me to proofread it for grammar. I determine it’s going to need much more than spotting a few missed commas and homophones to get it off life-support.

“This is like a “C” effort,” I warn him. “I don’t think you can get an “A” if you leave it as is.”

“I’m okay with that,” he shrugs. No ball. No water. Squarely mediocre.

As I head to bed I stop in my daughter’s room. She had the same English teacher last year. “Did you see Logan’s writing project? I mean it’s okay, not great. How does that teacher grade? Is she going to nail him?”

Whitney nodded. “Yeah, I saw it. That’s why I offered to help him. She really grades on effort.”

So my creative, over-achiever in the nice group daughter set aside her math to help her fairly self-absorbed brother doctor up his English project in the waning hours of Labor Day.

When they brought it in to show me right before I turned off the lights for bed, we all had to laugh at the presentation:

  • Bright pink cover
  • Photo under the title outlined in blue sparkly puffy paint

    Not his project but similar. Don't want to totally out him for calling in creative reinforcements

    Not his project but similar. Don’t want to totally out him for calling in creative reinforcements

  • Tied into a book with pink ribbon
  • Inspirational quote pictures next to each written passage

The price he paid for his sister helping him possibly get an “A”? There was no doubt a girl had helped him with this project.

But to keep Logan’s stamp of mediocrity on it ensuring it was indeed his own work? No pictures to accompany the last 3 passages.

“Yeah, I was done with it,” he explained.

But if you need someone to know every offensive and defensive play in a football playbook plus have somebody play fullback, tight end, middle linebacker, kicker, punter and back-up quarterback all in one game? He’s your man.



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