Quieting My Mind

Momservation: Time is on no one’s side.

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Dandelions on hillsideMy brain never shuts off.

I think it’s why I became a writer (and have always kept a journal)—to purge my mind of some of the thoughts swirling around making me feel like an overinflated water balloon.

It’s why when I wake up in the middle of the night I will likely end up welcoming the sunrise to my all-nighter.

It’s the curse of a creative person. The gift of constantly generating new ways to express yourself in the world is like being a dandelion. You sprout up quickly with brilliant colorfulness. But just as quickly you germinate hundreds of seeds, becoming lost in a field of flowers of your own making.

I’ve cut a successful path through the fields by channeling my creative and overactive mind into writing. But my unpublished works—the journals, poems, manuscripts, and word-riddled slips of paper born of midnight purges—they are dandelion covered hillsides beckoning to be explored.

These last few days I decided it was finally time to purge the mounds of paperwork left behind that is the physical representation of my overactive mind.

Among the weeds of unimportant papers I found treasure.

Little notes to myself, rescued out of my brain before forgotten.

I’ve decided to share them with my readers in hopes that my personal notes of inspiration will become a trailhead to my dandelion slopes instead of continuing to build an unexplored mountain.

On Feeling Unvalidated

Would Picasso have stopped painting if he thought no one would appreciate it? No. You cannot deny the self-expression that brings you joy, satisfaction and fulfillment. Your gifts are for your own enjoyment. The satisfaction shouldn’t be that others appreciate your gift—it should be that you do.

On Love and Loss

To love fiercely and completely takes courage. It’s knowing that at any given moment your heart could shatter, but it’s worth the break.

It’s choosing to live on the fragile precipice of life knowing it’s inevitable that you will one day fall into sorrow. But the fall with a heart full of love pains little compared to a heart that falls empty.

On Hard Work

The harder you work in this life the stronger you will become. It’s like training for a race. Suddenly the race becomes easier if you’ve put in the work to build your strength and endurance.

On Change

Desperate for change but terrified it will.

Refusing to change, grow, and adapt out of fear of losing what’s comfortable and safe would be like a caterpillar afraid of the darkness and unknown of its cocoon, never moving forward to experience the reward of earning the wings to fly.

One Setting High Standards

On this merry-go-round of life

You have the potential to do great things

Don’t be the tarnished loop everyone can reach

Be the brass ring

Divine Truths

Life is a gift. How we use it is up to us. (Why leave it in the box? Go do something great with it!)

Get rid of the crap. Let it go. (Would you carry other people’s poop around in your pockets? Why would you want to carry around others, or even your own, messes? Drop it and move on.)


I see with eyes that you can’t see

Eyes that death has given me

They came with heartbreak and with pain

But my loss is also my gain

I see with eyes that also feel

I can see through bullshit to what is real

I see what is valuable, what is worth keeping

I know what to sow and what is worth reaping

I can see happiness and I can see love

All plain as day, a gift from above

I can see beauty where others can not

I understand divine truth without being taught

I can see we are tied in this together

I can accept that nothing last forever

I see that it can all end in an instant

I can see that a lifetime is not that distant

I see with eyes hungry to feast on “what ifs”

(What if this is the last moment I’ll ever get?)

Do you want to waste it on envy or hate?

Or the sinking feeling you saw clearly too late?

Why notice the flaws and collect grievances and sorrows?

When you could be living for today instead of tomorrow

Because that’s what I see with these eyes of mine

Given to me by a sister gone but now divine

From the ashes of tragedy a gift of perspective

To know what really matters and how to collect it

It came at a price I would’ve never agreed to pay

But God chose me to see what others miss every day

KMW 3/10/2014


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