Oh No You Di-int Just Judge My Parenting

Momservation: If I’m not going to win Mother of the Year, I hope there’s at least a good consolation prize.

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Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones…

…or think of switching to siding.

Don’t judge until you’ve walked two moons in someone’s moccasins…

…or go for it because now you’re far away and you have their shoes.

It’s always the people you know the least who judge you the most…

…doesn’t that make it more fun?

Judge not if you’re not ready for judgment…

…but that’s not how this game works.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about…

…that’s why ignorance is bliss.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. ~ Erma Bombeck

Now, THAT’S the inspirational quote I’m looking for when it comes to judgment! Because there are no perfect parents out there. (Except for, maybe, Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber if we’re just judging on how the outsides look.)

Let’s face it: All of us are winging this parent thing and hoping for the best. We’re faced with decisions big and small every day for our children. At the end of the day you just hope you didn’t pick the curtain with the goat eating the clothes off the clothes line over Door Number 3 with the trip to Tahiti.

Parenting is a never-ending series of decisions:

Do I let them watch Nickelodeon over PBS? Should I serve lima beans or green beans? Do I start them in kindergarten now or wait another year? Should I tell them “yes” even though I really want to say “no”? Do I call the doctor or wait to see how they feel? Do I insist on switching teachers or make this a lesson in adapting? Do I make them go back in the house and brush their teeth or just give them a piece of gum?

See what I’m saying? Can I get an Amen, sister, up in here?

At the end of the day I pray to God: Please, let me have done more good than harm to my children. But you know what else could help? If we would all just lay off each other when it comes to judgments—especially when it comes to parenting.

Can we all just agree that we’re doing our best with the best of intentions and out of a place of love for our kids? And what that is and what that looks like is going to look different for everyone. Because the last I checked, none of us looked like Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber…

While we’re vowing to cut each other some slack and lay off the sideways glances, tsk-tsk head shakes, and mean-spirited gossip, here’s some playful reminders about not judging:

Oh No You Di-int Just Judge My Parenting

  • What? He wiggled!

    What? He wiggled!

    Don’t judge unless you’ve never served Coco Puffs for dinner.

  • Don’t judge unless you’ve never sent your kid to school with a cold and told them to pretend it’s allergies.
  • Don’t judge unless you’ve never pretended to look for the money the Tooth Fairy forgot to bring and did a slight of hand to “find” it.
  • Don’t judge unless you’ve never put your kid in too small clothes and told them it was the new style.
  • Don’t judge unless you’ve never thrown a Bounce in the dryer w/ some dirty clothes and passed it off as clean.
  • Don’t judge unless you’ve never accidently given your kid a bad haircut and then tried to blame it on them for wiggling.
  • Don’t judge unless you’ve never sent your kid to school w/ a mayonnaise and mustard sandwich because you were out of lunch meat and cheese.
  • Don’t judge unless you’ve never dropped your kid’s sandwich on the floor, picked the dog hair and lint ball off it and then gave it to them to eat.
  • Don’t judge unless you never started a crock pot meal with things from the freezer that you can’t identify under the freezer burn.
  • Don’t judge unless you’ve never accidently dropped an F-bomb in front of your kid and then bribed them with a Slurpee not to tell Mom.
  • Don’t judge unless you never used fuzzy socks to sweep the floor.
  • Don’t judge unless you never protested needless laundry by tossing a can of Axe to your kid and telling them “good luck.”
  • Don’t judge unless you’ve never forgotten to pick your kid up from somewhere and when you finally arrived pretended you got held up in traffic.

Feel free to keep the No Judgey-Judgey list going!


  1. Christy T. says:

    Or “surprising” your children by giving them their favorite of breakfast for dinner because you “knew how much they wanted it” when really you have nothing left in the house but a few heels of bread, 4 eggs, 2 applesauce cups, and a snack-sized zip lock of freezer burned lil’ smokies…

    • kellimwheeler says:

      I love the surprise/desperation breakfast for dinner! Mom comes off looking like a hero instead of someone too lazy to go to the store!

  2. Christine says:

    LOL over here, Kelli! There’s been more than one time I’ve grabbed a pair of kid’s dirty undies out of their laundry basket to give their room a quick dust!

    • kellimwheeler says:

      Cause I know you’re right there with me, Amy, that by the end of the year we’re telling our kids to go ahead and forge our names on the reading log!

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