Momservation: If God wanted us to do laundry regularly He wouldn’t have created mommy porn.
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It’s summer. No one wants to do anything except follow the shade around so you don’t have to put on sunscreen and hope their friend hurries up with book two and three of Fifty Shades of Grey.
So here’s a helpful guide to help you achieve your goals this summer:
A Dozen Ways to Put Off Laundry
- Have everyone turn their underwear inside out for another wear
- Impose a moratorium on shoes and thus the need for socks – wear only flip flops
- Sleep naked
- Wear bathing suits everywhere
- Everyone uses the same towel all summer
- Bring back old fashions by digging to bottoms of drawers and back of closets
- Put stinky clothes in dryer with a Bounce for five minutes to freshen them up
- Put funny pins and stickers over stains
- Buy more clothes, socks and underwear
- Pretend your camping and that dirt happens
- Stop doing anything that would make you sweaty or dirty
- Put an OUT OF ORDER sign on the washing machine
Stay tuned next week for A Dozen Ways to Put Off Dinner for when you finally get your hands on the next book in the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy.