But Wait! There’s More!

Momservation: One of these years I’m going to boycott emergency cards and just tell my kid: “Don’t get hurt.”

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Beware of what comes home in these backpacks after the firs day of school...

Beware of what comes home in these backpacks after the first day of school…

Why does going back to school require so much paperwork?

I think I might just hate filling out Emergency Cards in triplicate more than Back to School shopping (which ranks right up there with PAP smears on my Yeah, Let Me Get Right On That list).

As if my hand wasn’t cramping up enough trying to get vital information in the allotted .05 centimeter space, there’re more! PTA forms, volunteer forms, school roster forms, picture day forms, school lunch forms…and they don’t just want my information, they want my money!

Just when you think you’ve narrowly avoided applying for a second mortgage and disability for the carpal tunnel, the next wave of forms hits in the form of “homework.”

That’s right—when the administration and the PTA are done working you over, they teachers get a shot at ya.

They’re smart too—their requests come through your children who think because it’s assigned as homework, their grade will go down if they don’t do it. So you read all the classroom rules and expectations and you sign at the bottom that everyone’s seen it and are all on the same page, but wait—there’s more!

It’s the requested “donation” for art, science, literature, math, media, P.E., etc. to purchase supplemental supplies so your child won’t be shafted like they were from the great state of California.

Let’s be honest here. This is not a donation. This is a shake down. Because what parent is not going to “donate” to the cause of enriching their child’s education—but more importantly—who’s going to let their kid start off the school year with a big “0” and be the subject of classrooms snickers because you didn’t do your “homework”?

Well played teachers. Well played.

So while I’m icing my writing hand and cooling down my checkbook, I thought I would leave you with my ever-popular and often requested list of Momservations Top Ten Rules for Kids to go with the classroom rules for the new school year. I promise you won’t have to sign that you read it…


Top Ten Rules for Kids

  1. Respect yourself and others. This pretty much covers all other rules. But just to be clear…
  2. Own it. Quit throwing other people under the bus and take responsibility for your choices.
  3. Just ‘cause you can, doesn’t mean you should. “Seemed like a good idea at the time” should be reserved for tombstones.
  4. Lying only throws fuel on the fire. Mess with the fire and you’re going to get burned.
  5. Change is inevitable. So quit your complaining and learn to adapt.
  6. Don’t be a hater. Ugly attitudes don’t look good on anyone. Let it go – don’t waste energy on carrying a grudge.
  7. Remember the Mom Test. If you wouldn’t say it, do it, or suggest it with Mom standing next to you – think twice.
  8. Do no harm. Keep all hands, feet, arms, legs and other violations of space and privacy to yourself.
  9. Do something. Don’t just sit there – be helpful, thoughtful, considerate, generous, a friend, anything! Everyone’s got something to give.
  10. Enjoy the journey. It’s not the destination that counts, but how you get there. So you might as well hang on end enjoy the ride.

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