Brevity is a Paleo Diet

Momservation: Everyone seems to forget that every movie…starts as a written screenplay or original novel.
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Let’s just put it out there now: Brevity is not my strong suit.
I used to think it was one of my endearing qualities—being a storyteller—but more often than not now I hear, “Geez, I just asked for the time not how to build a watch!”
Me and Mark Twain: made obsolete by the Technological Age of 2010’s. Or as young owners of iPhones say: “What’s a watch?”
So, since everyone seems to like their entertainment consumed in disappearing SnapChats, viral  videos, or via GIF’s or links in Facebook newsfeeds, I’ve tried to learn to be brief.
Note my very short paragraphs!
My editors have told me people stop reading columns after 500 words; that no one will read my 300-page novel; maybe I should consider replacing my blog with a vlog to get more viewers.
But I don’t want viewers! I want readers! Readers who want to read a good damn story no matter how long it is. Readers who want to be taken on a journey, enjoy the sights, take in the sounds, smell the gardenias, feel the wind in their hair. And when it’s over they look up and announce: “God damn! That was a fun ride!”
Can a good story be told in a few paragraphs? Sure. I’ve tried. It’s a hell of a lot harder, but it can be done. But for the love of Garfield and Odie—even a short story is too long now!
And besides, why would you buy low-calorie Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie Frozen Yogurt with all the good stuff cut out when you could have the much more delicious ice cream version?
Brevity…is not delicious. It’s a paleo diet.
So, since I only have 193 more words until you stop reading, here’s my point:
I don’t want to be brief. Why should I? I am a storyteller. It is in my soul. It makes up the fabric of me. If I’m boring you with the long and winding story of my day, then maybe you should go back to your cat compilation videos on YouTube. You are not my people.
If you are craving a delicious story…how about this excerpt from my unpublished (apparently, too long) manuscript Shallow End of the Gene Pool. From the chapter, MawMaw, it’s 2,034 words long:
MawMaw and The Mulberry Tree
I recently shared it with my memoir writing class to an appreciative ovation. My people. They are all holding spoons and want to dig in to my full-caloried ice cream. They have made me believe again that I might just actually be…
A damn good storyteller.
#IStillHave45WordsToGoBeforeYouStopReading #PleaseShareIfYouSaid”GodDamnThatWasAFunRide!”

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