Back to School Parent Perks

Momservation:Mom created meals, and clean clothes, and activities for the kids, and a safe nurturing environment. On the sixth day she created the seven hour five day-a-week school year. And on the seventh day she finally rested.

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The kids left for school… and once again peace reigned throughout the house

Tomorrow my kids start school.

Back in the day this would mark my annual sending of a fruit basket to the San Juan Unified School District.

But now that my kids are older and more self-sufficient (read: never home because they’re off with their friends), I’m not so desperate for school to start. I’m actually going to miss summer.

I feel good about where we left it though. In my ongoing effort to live in the moment and enjoy the journey our family, I believe, has wrung every last ounce of fun out of this summer.

To paraphrase Hunter S. Thompson, we are skidding up broadside to the curb of school in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

But that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy some of the perks of my kids being occupied in the halls of education for a seven hour stretch five days a week.

In fact, below is a list of things I’m going to thoroughly enjoy and relish in now that the kids are back in school:

Back to School Parent Perks

  • Having an uninterrupted bathroom moment, taking as long as I want.
  • Making myself something to eat first and getting to actually sit down and eat it.
  • Going through a Starbucks line and not having to use all of my gift card buying everyone else Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccinos and chocolate croissants.
  • Reclaiming my DVR and deleting “Series Record” of Dance Moms, Full House, Ridiculousness, and My Strange Addiction.
  • Favorite ratty old t-shirts and super short shorts mysteriously disappear.
  • Reprogramming car radio stations, listening to my playlists, and my choice of Pandora stations that don’t have the same six songs playing over and over.
  • A pantry and fridge that retains the food put in it for at least seven hours.
  • Walking through a house that doesn’t suddenly become a minefield of dropped and discarded personal items, dishes, and garbage.
  • No one is yelling “Shot gun!” every time I get in the car.
  • The only disputes I have to mediate are between me and the dog.


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