A Mother is Never Surprised to Find…

Momservation: You better make it good, because it’s nearly impossible to surprise a mother.

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Welcome to the initial installment of A Mother is Never Surprised to Find… Where the second you become a mom, things cease to amaze you because kids like to keep life interesting.  The list of things your child will do, say, or pull to little or no reaction from Mom is endless, but I’m gonna have to put a cap on it here, cause I’ve got a Sam’s Club run to make.

A Mother is Never Surprised to Find…

  • a turtle in the bathtub when you don’t own a turtle
  • objects in a poopy diaper that weren’t served in a previous meal
  • a lost sippy cup with curdled milk buried in the sandbox
  • a dead frog in the freezer
  • two months’ worth of milk money on the bottom of a backpack
  • her son trying to leave the house in a duct tape shirt
  • her daughter trying to leave the house with badly applied make-up
  • a live snail collection in a shoe box in the closet
  • her bra being used as a water balloon sling shot

    courtesy of community.sparknotes.com

  • an empty milk jug put back in the refrigerator
  • a cube of butter being eaten like a popsicle
  • her dining room chair propping up a bike jump
  • her daughter shaving her stuffed animals with her razor
  • a Lego in a clogged drain
  • tadpoles in the toilet
  • poop and vomit can shoot across a room
  • an already colored coloring book wrapped up as a gift
  • the cat dressed in doll clothes
  • the dog in a pair of boxers
  • a ceiling fan being used to shoot things across the room
  • dried boogers on a headboard
  • her couch cushions outside on the trampoline
  • Daddy’s tie being used as a fly swatter
  • the leaf blower tied to a skateboard
  • her toddler brushing her hair with the toilet bowl brush

Here’re these passed on to me from Twitter by Cori Kesler of http://embracingtheabsurd.blogspot.com:

  • a month old lunch under the bed
  • skid marks in underwear
  • a perfectly good piece of fruit in the garbage with three bites taken out of it
  • the candy stash missing
  • clean clothes in the hamper
  • someone yelling “mommmmmmmmyy!!!” the moment she sits down for a rest

Feel free to add to the list. But I’m telling you now, I won’t be surprised.


    • kellimwheeler says:

      Infinite like the number of times you will suck up a Lego in the vacuum even after the kids don’t play with them anymore.

      You defrosting that “frog soup” anytime soon? Does your family have dead birds in pockets too?

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