A Mother is Never Surprised to Find…

Momservation: It’s all fun and games until you hear the Mom Voice and freeze in your tracks.

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Welcome back to another installment of A Mother is Never Surprised to Find…!

Of course, this is an endless game we can play because kids will never cease pushing the boundaries of acceptable outcomes. That front cerebral cortex that makes rational decisions won’t be fully developed until after college when they finally stop and think:

“Hey, maybe seeing if I can light my farts on fire isn’t such a great idea.” (In some men, this just never develops.)

And where you find a kid leaving someone scratching their head thinking, What the H-E- Double Hockey Sticks?!, you will find a mother not breaking stride in business as usual.

Only the best of us are cut out for this Mom stuff.

So without further ado, let’s see what has ceased to amaze us mothers lately:

A Mother is Never Surprised to Find…

Is this really the best use of tape?

…kids circled around a toilet to see if hamsters can swim.

…someone standing on the roof with a sheet ready to try parachuting.

…something frozen in the freezer that should not be anywhere near food.

…calls for help coming from inside a sofa sleeper.

…she is out of tape because it’s all been used by her kids to make funny faces.

… a suspiciously missing favorite action figure buried in the garden.

…shoes in the middle of the room that a child supposedly looked “all over” for.

…the dog wearing boxer shorts.

FatFace screensaver of myself – Why does this not surprise me?

…kids getting ready to drop the cat off the roof to see if it’s true they always land on their feet.

…her make-up being used as finger paint.

…pilfered cookies stashed in the dryer.

…evidence on the wall that a peanut butter sandwich had recently resided there.

…contraband stashed inside pillow cases.

…her iPhone screensaver changed to a picture of herself FatFaced.

As I said before, feel free to add anything to the list – but I guarantee I won’t be surprised.


    • kellimwheeler says:

      You further prove my point – excellently I might add. This is normal run-of-the-mill stuff for you Wyoming-ans. For us Californians it might be a free range chicken in the backpack…

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