Momservation: Diamond earrings can’t replace the gift of no more bickering. But they sure help drown out the noise.
☺ ☺ ☺
I told my family I don’t want anything for Christmas this year. Just peace on earth and good health, wealth, and happiness for my friends and loved ones.
And then we all laughed and then I told them what I really wanted.
- Kids that pick up after themselves.
- Phones voluntarily charging in the kitchen so I don’t have to be the bad guy when I bust my children at 1 a.m. when I get up to go pee.
- My daughter becoming a carnivore again or start grocery shopping and cooking for herself.
- My son to be less finicky or start grocery shopping and cooking for himself.
- Dirty clothes actually put in the hamper and not spread about like an Easter egg hunt mixed with clean, discarded outfits on the floor.
- More family members coming to my Let’s Clean the Kitchen! or Let’s Fold the Laundry! parties.
- A straight, honest answer when I ask, “Is your homework done?”
- A car that cleans itself. Or people to take their sh** with them when they get out.
- An eject button in my car for anyone who fights over the front seat.
- Self-cleaning bathroom. Or boys with better aim.
- Another gigabyte of RAM to aid my failing mommy memory.
- Time to read that’s not on a toilet.
- My phone charger, without someone else’s phone on it, right where I left it.
- Someone to convince the dog that I’m not the only person who can fulfill her needs.
- The San Diego Chargers to win the Super Bowl. (Stop laughing!)
- Calories Don’t Count Day to become a reality.
- A treadmill or elliptical machine to stop asking me how old I am.
- A guiltless day of relaxation where I can walk back in the door and there are no fires to put out, work waiting to be done or people waiting for me to take care of them and their problems.
- Jessica Biel’s pre-pregnancy body without the upkeep. And maybe a few smooches thrown in from Justin Timberlake.
And this is just the short version of what I sent to Santa Claus…
What’s on your Christmas wish list?