Who Wants to Ride Shotgun?

Momservation: If you aren’t able to entertain yourself then maybe someone doesn’t like their own company.

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thanks for the vote Darby!

So I didn’t make Forbes list of 100 Best Websites for Women.

Thanks a lot you guys for the votes. Meaning my dad (thanks Dad!), my longest friend (thanks Janine!), my biggest fans (thanks Leigh and Karen!), and my dog (I voted for her). Mom, you’re off the hook because you were flying to Phoenix and didn’t have access to a computer (let’s just go with that). Everyone else, go ahead and go back to your busy lives of posting pictures of your food on Facebook.

Okay, that was kind of mean. Sorry.

I was just trying out being brutally honest—apparently if you want to have a bazillion blog readers and get a book deal, this is how you have to set yourself apart in the crowded mom blogger world.

Or fucking cuss a lot.

See—that doesn’t work for me either.

I considered selling out by accepting more product placement and offers of free stuff as an endorsement blogger.

But I’m already being stalked by nanny.com and I don’t really want people to think that I actually like seaweed chips or need vaginal reconstruction.

I thought about being inflammatory and controversial…or being a cute sneezing kitten—that always seems to get people to forward your stuff on Facebook.

But then I’d be violating my Number 1 Rule: First, respect yourself.

(Okay, that is pretty stinkin’ cute. I get the 2 million views)

So, I’m just going to stick with what I know and hope people appreciate what I have to offer: a humorous (sometimes poignant) take on parenthood with a few survival tips thrown in and a reminder to enjoy the journey.

Hey, at the very least, I’m pretty happy entertaining myself (I’ve always enjoyed my own company) and at the most—maybe I’ve inspired someone along the way to see the world like my kindred soul Hunter S. Thompson:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

I hope more of you will ride shotgun with me, because if I do say so myself, I’m a pretty good time.

And I’d hate to resort to endorsing vaginal reconstruction.

If you’re in for riding shotgun, please use the social media links below to share Momservations®. Or use this link to forward Momservations® to a friend (or even a frenemy): Momservations

5 comments

  1. Janine Caldwell (@J9fiction) says:

    Awesome post as always, Kel, and funny! I feel your pain and share your grief, but have also been recently reminded not to sell myself out for worldly approval. Keep doing what you’re doing and one day, either in this life or the afterlife, you will be rewarded for your integrity. BTW, vaginal reconstruction does not sound like a good time. Have you ever tried seaweed chips? They might be good (ha! ha!).

    • kellimwheeler says:

      Good Lord, I hope it’s this life! I want credit for time served! 😉

      And seaweed chips taste like you’d expect: there is nothing left on this earth to eat.

      Thanks for your support and pep talks my friend!

    • kellimwheeler says:

      Thanks, Marianne! You’ve been with me from the beginning and I appreciate your support. It makes it easier to resist the temptation of endorsing Soda Pop Tops lollipops. 😉

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