Momservation: Behind the magic of Christmas is an exhausted mother.
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It’s a well-known secret that it is not actually Santa who makes Christmas happen.
It’s Mom. No Mom working behind the scenes, Christmas just doesn’t come.
From the moment the turkey left-overs hit the refrigerator after Thanksgiving, Mom, whether she likes it or not, is commissioned into action in making the season bright.
Because we all know if it’s left up to Dad, everyone would be celebrating Christmas around the living room Ficus, lottery scratchers and cash left on the coffee table, with everyone later gathering around a bowl of Doritos and frozen pizza.
So it is Mom who sets her alarm and braves Black Friday in the name of the perfect discounted toy. It is Mom who pretends she is working at her desk on Cyber Monday to get the internet shopping done early so she doesn’t have to pay rush shipping charges later.
Without Mom you don’t have someone bugging Dad that tonight’s the night we’re going to get a Christmas tree, so put down the remote. Or nagging him to turn off “Storage Wars” to get the artificial tree out of the attic.
In the name of Christmas it is Mom who:
– Makes sure her family looks perfect, even if only in theory, for that adorable Christmas card photo (with great priced clothes at Sam’s Club).
– Gets the Christmas card made (at Sam’s photo center), addressed, and mailed so you don’t get blacklisted from friends and family Christmas card lists.
– Decorates the house with festive and affordable decorations (such cute ones at Sam’s!), finishing without the kids’ help because they ran off to play when they lost interest.
– Creates the gift list, remembering to shop for everyone so Hubby doesn’t show up empty handed having to re-gift his desk plant at the office Christmas party (awesome gift sets under $20 at Sam’s).
– Saves Dad overtime hours by finding great bargains (like a 4-pack of $15 iTunes gift cards for less than $60)
– Makes sure nobody runs out of tags, tape, wrapping paper or bows (fancy look without the fancy price at Sam’s)
– (With help from Sam’s) finds fabulous party hostess gifts plus yummy and easy appetizers and desserts that look homemade with hours slaved over them.
– Bakes all the holiday cookies after the kids have gotten bored frosting and decorating dozens of sugar cookies for friends, family and parties (15 dozen sugar cookie mix at Sam’s) to go play swords with empty wrapping paper tubes.
– Makes sure Santa stops at Sam’s for bikes, electronics, phones and jewelry and that he knows about their Holiday Value of the Day.
– Has gotten at Sam’s all the holiday feast foods from jelly rolls and bagels Christmas morning to affordable prime rib and pumpkin pie that feeds a dozen. Plus that five pound bag of assorted Hershery’s chocolates that she may or may not share.
– Also has the Hefty garbage bags (picked up at Sam’s) for cleaning up the Christmas mess left behind.
That Mom, she thinks of everything. What would Santa do without her?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!