The Laundress is OUT

I’ve got a dirty little secret.

 

I’ve bought more underwear to delay doing laundry.

 

In my defense, the kid was ripping through chonies like you wouldn’t believe and obviously needed more Bob the Builders in his stock.

 

Speaking of stock, I suggest buying some in Shout stain remover because it is a mother’s best friend. I go through the stuff by the gallon.

 

Which leads me to the question — Why should the person who makes only 10% of the dirty laundry be the one to wash it?

 

Exactly.

?        ?        ?

 

So I catch myself saying the other day after my daughter’s softball game, “Don’t put that uniform in the dirty clothes. You’ve got another game this week. And I’m not doing laundry.”

 

Sounds bad, doesn’t it? It gets worse.

 

She was about to diligently drop the dusty uniform and stinky socks in the laundry hamper but I told her she might as well leave it on the floor so she wouldn’t mess up the clean clothes in her drawer.

 

Not one of my Mother of the Year moments.

 

Then there was my son’s baseball uniform. Hubby was in charge of getting his baseball pants. He comes home with only one pair! The kid has at least two games a week! The odds of Son trotting out onto the field in bright whites just went down dramatically. I sent Hubby back for another pair.

 

I’m sorry, but there’s a lot of stuff going down around here to make this family run like the well oiled machine that it is. Doing single loads of laundry for an average of four games a week would bring the show to a screeching halt.

 

I do laundry in mass. It’s just how I roll. Huge piles of bleaches. Mounds of lights. Masses of darks. Mole hills of delicates. It can take me two days to get through it all. (Don’t ask me about folding and putting it away – let’s just say Hubby and I have an inside joke that his clean underwear are in the “drawer.” That’s code word for unfolded in the laundry basket.)

 

Could my life be easier if I broke it into more frequent manageable loads? Maybe. Would it be more efficient? Probably. Do I want to do laundry that frequently? H-E- Double Hockey Sticks NO.

 

Instead, you can find me out front playing catch with the kids. Because in my house a good mother means happy kids and stinky socks.

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