So Not Impressed

Momservation: Doesn’t matter to your kids what you’ve achieved in life as long as you’re the maker of pancakes, kisser of boo-boos, and player in make-believe.


October’s Sacramento Magazine is out and if you turn to page 31 – Hey, it’s me!

 The picture accompanying the article, to my great relief, actually came out cute (Thanks, Mandy Draper!). It has me, sitting in a chair, with the blurred images of my children and dog racing around me. The picture was framed to show the commotion and chaos of being a mom. I was just glad I didn’t look like cheesehead.

My kids, of course, turned to the “Up Front” section featuring me and my Momservations® (Thanks, Elena Macaluso) and said, “Hey, it’s me!”

Not, “Hey, look! There’s my mom, the successful writer who landed in the pages of a glossy magazine!”

No, that wasn’t even a footnote in the conversation when I received an advance copy in the mail.

It went more like this:

Logan: There’s me! You can see me and Darby (the dog), but you’re all blurry Whitney. Ha, ha!

Whitney (dejectedly): Hey, that’s not fair! All you can see is my back! Well, you’re all blurry too Logan.

Logan: So. At least you can see me. That’s ‘cause I’m better and so is Darby.

Whitney: You’re not better! You’re just a cheesehead!

Logan: You’re the cheesehead, cheese ball.

Then punching, pushing, shoving, screeching, chasing, evil laughing, threats of bodily harm, and rolling on the floor in a mess of swinging arms and legs ensued.

I just made sure I grabbed the magazine out of the way before they ripped it.

Then I retreated to where any minor celebrity would go to finish reading the feature in peace and muted quiet; my sanctuary from the chaos where I am not to be disturbed.

The bathroom.


  1. mc6pack says:

    Congrats, Kelli. It’s funny your kids were all about themselves and their photos. You may be surprised by this, but I don’t subscribe to Sacramento Magazine. I clicked on the link but couldn’t find the article online. Is it on there?

    • kellimwheeler says:

      What? No SacMag in Wisconsin? I’ll have to have a word with my agent – wait, I don’t have an agent. The article isn’t online, only newstand/subscription. As much as I’d like to think people will rush out to buy it like a John & Kate Plus 8 issue, for those who can wait, I will have it scanned to my site in November.

    • kellimwheeler says:

      Wyoming – is that in the United States? 😉

      Sorry! We Californians have a poor tendency to think all those other states look alike.

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