My Heart Wears Size 8 Nikes

Momservation: To stop worrying about your children is to stop breathing.

 ☺        ☺        ☺

 One of my favorite quotes is from Elizabeth Stone: Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to forever decide to have your heart go walking outside your body.

 

My heart has been going on quite a stroll this last week.

First, my kids have been riding their bikes all over the neighborhood, staying out almost all day playing with their friends, going to the store for treats, exploring creeks and empty lots.

I wave the kids off with a casual, “Be careful,” and cell phone to keep in touch, acting like it’s no big deal, this adventure of independence.

But the second the garage door shuts the anxiety begins. What if they get hit by a car? What if someone tries to abduct them? What if they get distracted, careless, or take uncalculated risks resulting in serious injury or death?

I wonder if this worry and anxiety ever goes away as the kids grow up…become more responsible…or I learn to relax.

I doubt it. The worries just become different.

Secondly, we took our first family trip toYosemite. Hubby was excited. The kids were excited. I was a wreck.

This has turned out to be one of the deadliest years in Yosemite (http://www.sacbee.com/2011/08/13/3835136/yosemite-deaths-americans-may.html). Everyone was seeing an opportunity to explore one of God’s greatest achievements. I was seeing a death trap.

As we hiked up the Mist Trail to Vernal Falls all I could picture were the three hikers who went over the falls to their deaths three weeks earlier, two of which still haven’t been found. With every step up the steep granite steps I begged the kids, “Stay to the right! Watch your feet! Keep your eyes on the trail!”

(You can hear me in the background of this video at Nevada Falls telling my daughter to get back)

Thank God I didn’t know about the teenager who tripped a week earlier on the same steps only to hit his head and die. I would’ve zipped my kids in the tent for the four days we were there.

Finally, I took my son to junior high orientation today. As my baby boy left my side to go excitedly talk with his friends, compare schedules and locker locations I felt like I was watching my heart walk away from me – through the gateway of adolescence needing his mommy less and less until he’d be gone.

I am so not ready for my heart’s voice to change, start shaving, and want to touch boobies…

Leave a Reply