Momservations II

Back by popular demand…


It is inevitable that you will become an underwear sniffer in an effort to do less laundry.


You will never be able to get your kids to actually put their clean and dirty clothes where they belong if they ever catch you doing the sniff test, because it is more fun to declare to everyone that Mommy is an underwear sniffer.


Daddy going out of town usually coincides with Breakfast for Dinner on the menu.


Mommy going out of town means McDonald’s is on the menu. For breakfast, lunch and dinner.


She who goes to bed with dishes in the sink wakes up with ants on the counter.


Baby wipes are surprisingly useful to take off make-up, get crayon art off the wall and wipe down a bathroom prior to an unexpected guest.


Shout stain remover is a gift from God.


There are no such things as friends and respecting the elderly when it comes to getting the front row at your child’s school play or talent show night.


No one ever learns to like Brussel sprouts or lima beans.


The first time your baby sleeps through the night you will wake in a panic that they didn’t wake you.


You are not a mother if you have never caught throw-up in your hands, wiped snot without a tissue or sniffed a baby’s bottom for poo-poo.


Clean it and the mess will follow.


There is no such thing as finished laundry.


Telling your kids that monsters sleep under your bed and not theirs is not bad parenting, it’s sleep preservation.


Kisses and boo-boos go together like peanut butter and jelly.


Air-bags were really invented by a mother to keep kids from fighting over the front seat.


The Cartoon Network is a necessary evil.

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