Momservation: If the threat of castration was tied to porn, people would think twice about their internet searches.
☺ ☺ ☺
My Yugoslavian neighbor once shared this proverb from his country with me: Stupid people don’t need tending to—they grow themselves.
Applying this philosophy I’d like to take it one step further: If stupid people are growing themselves, the internet is their fertile ground.
Let me present some evidence beyond the plethora of “Anonymous” postings stupid people hide behind to spew ignorant, intolerant, and obnoxious garbage online. Pulling the curtain back on the interworkings of hosting a blog site (a la Oz the Great and Powerful) I can see all sorts of site stats regarding my blog. One of the things I can analyze besides page views, top referrers, and top posts is search engine terms. I can actually see the terms people have typed in to land then on Momservations®.
As the author of a humorous blog about family, raising children, and countless stories about my own children, this category makes me sick on a daily basis.
Without fail, every day, some stupid sick minded pervert has landed on my site, seen innocent pictures of my babies, and tried to derive satisfaction for some sick fetish because I might have used the word “pee” in a title about the challenges of potty training or “preteen girl” to describe my daughter.
Here is a sampling of searches from “These are terms people used to find your site” for Momservations®:
preteen girls pee pee
little girl sleeping
naked kid pee
girl sleeping+green thong
pee pee kids
kids pee outdoor
boys pooping outside together
child-girl skirt on playground playing
preteen little girls in underwear
“they are in their underwear”
child naked pee
potty training boys no pants
big girl pee
little girls in thongs
little boy pees outside
girl puberty images
young girl pees outside
It makes me sick that talking about my children has led stupid, sick, sociopaths to my door. A lot of them. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it besides being more careful about words and phrases that I use in my posts that might tip off a sexual deviant.
My girlfriend, Kim, tried to reassure me by saying, “Your blog is a tool for reformation. Maybe when they end up on Momservations® and read it, they’ll be overcome by shame and wish to reform.”
Doubt it. I got a better idea I want to float to Google®: Anytime some stupid person types in a sick minded search term a wooden mallet needs to pop out from their keyboard and smash them in the twig and berries (this is the safest term I could think of that won’t land another type of pervert on my site).