ADULTING: It’s Your Problem to Solve Now

Momservation: Sometimes adulting means not taking that one jail phone call and sleeping it off in the drunk tank.

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So proud of my kid this week! (When your kids are in college, you take it week by week.)

She finally fessed up that she made a costly mistake. (Monetary—the best kind of mistake for a parent. That kind can be paid off. Momma says a prayer to a higher power for protection from life altering mistakes.)

So Baby Girl child has had a nasty lost key habit since she got to college. Dorm keys, bike lock keys, apartment keys…This has given me anxiety on number of levels: concern for forgetfulness/situations that cause the losing of important possessions, unfortunate circumstances that could arise from this, and most importantly, her personal safety.

But Baby Girl has had none of these concerns. No biggie, it’ll turn up, got a back-up key, roommate will let me in, I don’t need my bike for a while anyway, “It’ll be fine, Mom!”

And she’s right. These are not my concerns anymore. Land the helicopter. Let her figure it out. These are her problems not mine.

But every Empty Nest parent knows the inevitable call from a young adult child will come reminding you that their problems are still your problems/worries too.

“Uh, Mom, how do you get blood stains out of a shirt? I mean, like kinda a lot.”

“Mom! There’s a hold on my account and I can’t register for fall classes until I pay for the summer quarter class that I thought I dropped. What do I do?”

“Um, Dad, the landlord just called and said if we don’t get the grass to grow back around the dye table he’s going to start charging us for a gardener. Can I get extra money for rent?”

But a funny thing happens as these college kids start to get their adulting “sea legs.” The calls become fewer and further in between as they learn to solve their own problems or take their own lumps. In fact, when before you would have sleepless nights because you would be worrying about an inordinate amount of Uber charges on your credit card, suddenly you are sleeping better because your adulting children start to realize that maybe it’s time they get their own Uber account. What you don’t know, you can’t worry about (or get lectured about—again).

So the call never came when Baby Girl lost (with no hope of finding) her car key/fob. An hour before she had to be at work. On her own she found a mobile locksmith, paid $250 to get a key made quickly on the spot (it would be another $250 if she wanted a replacement fob), and made it to work on time. She decided since she was replacing lost keys, she finally bought a new bike lock and had the old lock cut off her bike ($45). She ended up paying $50 for two replacement keys when her sub-lease was up.

But the best was finally admitting to herself that she had a problem…and bought a package of Tile trackers ($40) to attach to her key lanyards so she could track down any wayward keys with her phone.

She might not need those, though. I’m thinking after her paying nearly $400 to come square with her lost key habit…Baby Girl might finally be prioritizing key possession and safety. Funny how it’s the costly mistakes that stick.

That’s my little problem solver! One small step toward adulting, one giant leap toward never losing the key to success.

#EmptyNestStories  #Adulting  #BabyGirlGrowingUp

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