A Post-Mortem Halloween Soliloquy

Twas the Monday after Halloween

And all through the house

Half-eaten candy and wrappers

Were scattered about

Discarded costumes

Once provoking dread

Lay in heaps and piles

From floor to bed

Pumpkin seeds saved

Still uncooked in a bowl

Are now turning green

All covered with mold

Jack-o-lantern smiles

Now starting to droop

Already rotting

On my front entry stoop

The festive décor

Once strewn about in glee

Just looks like another

Job waiting for me

They hang from knobs

They are affixed on glass

They are on tables

What a pain in the a**

So I grab another Snickers

What-the-heck a Baby Ruth

All confiscated

In the name of the tooth

As I gnaw on the Twix

Sugar Babies and Mounds

I curse the beginning

Of my holiday pounds

And as I wrap up

Each decoration put away

Out comes another

For Thanksgiving Day

So I pop one more Smarties

Ready to hurl

I remind myself it’s for

A special boy and girl

Then I self medicate

With a Reese’s peanut butter cup

Only 52 days to Christmas

I’m gonna throw up.

©Kelli Wheeler 11/08

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