Momservation: If you’re not lecturing your teens in six-second sound bites these days—you’re not getting through.
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One of my frequent mom-isms to my kids is: “Oh, that’s right. I forgot you’re part of six-second nation,” in reference to their generation’s attention span. I will then rephrase my long-winded request into something short and in their lingo like: “#GoCleanYourRoomOrYouWillHaveNoPhone.”
This mom-ism was generated from my blog, Six Second Nation, pointing out that thanks to social media like Vine (that only allows videos to be six seconds long), Twitter (that only allows communication under 40 characters), and Snap Chat (that gives you up to 10 seconds to view a picture or video before it disappears), we’ve created a generation of kids with the attention span of a goldfish.
So now, all I have to do is say to my kids: “Six-second nation” and they know I’m calling them out on giving me their full attention. It’s my modern day “I’ll give you to the count of three…”
I also use: “Be present!” Which is me warning them that they better put down their phones or they’re going to get a lecture on life passing them by. Or the six-second nation version: #You’reAboutToGetYourPhoneTakenAway.
So for those of you who are still having problems communicating with your smart phone obsessed kids because you are rambling longer than six seconds—turning your voice into the “whan-whan-whan-whan” of the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon—reference the easy translator below to become fluent in Six-Second Nation-ese.
What You’re Trying to Say Six-Second Nation Translation
|I caught you on your phone last night after bedtime, this is the third time I’ve warned you about this.||#ThirdStrike#PhoneNowChargesInTheKitchen|
|I’m glad we’re spending this time together. I’m really enjoying your company when you finally put your phone down.||#Let’sTakeASelfie!#PutItInYourSnapChatStory|
|You told me you were going to be doing your homework over Steve’s but the GPS tracking on your phone showed you at the Hookah Lounge||#Busted|
|I’m so proud of you. You studied hard for that test and your hard work paid off.||#Winning#StreetCred|
|I don’t care if you can multi-task while doing homework/you need to text a friend for the questions/you need your phone to do research on Safari||#NiceTry#PhoneChargesInTheKitchen|
|I don’t care if everyone else is doing it, everyone else is going, you’re the only one who doesn’t have it/one||#CryMeARiver#I’mNotEveryoneElse’sMom|
|You said you weren’t going to that party but I saw you tagged in pictures on Twitter and Instagram||#Busted|
|I’m tired of all the excuses you have for not getting a better grade, that the teacher doesn’t like you, that you did try your best||#TryHarder#DoYouWantSomeCheeseToGoWithThatWhine
|See I told you that shirt would like nice on you/That it wouldn’t kill you to put on a sweatshirt/You can still look cute and be following the dress code…||#TagMe
|I’m really disappointed in you. I trusted you and you let me down||#YouSuck|