The Longest Week of My Life

Momservation: It’s a sad day when you realize you spend more time interacting with your iPhone than your children. 

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I’ve been walking around since Saturday with this strange feeling that part of me is missing – something vital to my functioning, and yet, somehow it’s going to be okay.

Almost like I donated a kidney.

It was 4:37 p.m. and 23 seconds on November 27, 2010 when I realized I was no longer whole. It was 4:37 and 46 seconds when I frantically started dialing for help (from a land line – took me awhile to remember how it worked), listening for any sign of my lost appendage. It was 4:38 and 39 seconds when I decided to make the fateful Time of Death call.

“Hello?”

“Aunt Sandie – it’s me. Have you heard muffled sounds of Michael Franti’s “Say Hey I Love You” playing in your car?”

“As a matter of fact I have,” she said.

It was confirmed. My iPhone was almost half-way to Monterey and my life was over.

Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but I challenge any of you to go without your smart phone of choice for a week and see if you don’t start climbing the walls and phantom app-ing like a heroine addict without their methadone.

(My Life Before I Lost My iPhone, courtesy of Windows Phone) 

To give myself a little credit, I did tell Aunt Sandie to bring the phone (which fell out of my pocket into her car when I was unloading Christmas present purchases valiantly wrangled from the local mall) when she came back up in a week rather than mail it Overnight Express Expedite the Heck Out of It Hurry Up And Get Here Damnit I’ll Be Waiting at the Door.

Surprisingly, it’s been kinda nice living a cell phone free life. I actually listen to what my kids are saying to me now instead of nodding and throwing out an absent, “Hmmm, that’s nice honey,” while checking Facebook status updates.

And when you’re not incessantly sending Tweets and texting nothing terribly important for no good reason, having two hands free comes in so handy.

Funny thing too – when you don’t have to constantly stop, take a picture and post what you’re doing right now and how fun it is – you can actually enjoy what you’re doing right now and savor the moment yourself.

It’s amazing how simple your life can become when you don’t receive calls or texts from people needing something from you. Or not being able to contact anyone because you still haven’t gotten around to backing up your Contacts list and you have no idea what anyone’s number is.

I’m also a much better driver now that I’m not constantly looking in my review mirror for the fuzz and pretending like I have an itch behind my ear. Much quicker off the line at green lights too with no annoying honking behind me anymore.

Another bonus – I don’t lose endless hours of productive time playing Bejeweld2 or Plants vs. Zombies.

In fact, with all this free time now open to me with no iPhone in my life it’s allowed me to spend some real quality time with my family!

Good Lord, Saturday can’t get here soon enough.

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